The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
