you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
