You're so nebulous sometimes
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
