He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
