Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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