what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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