We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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