But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
