You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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