Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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