Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
