i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
