Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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