i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
