i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If that was your dad, he is hot
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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