As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
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I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
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Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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