Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
