these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
