This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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