So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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