my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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