do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
