He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
