He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
