im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
