i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
what day is it and did you see me today?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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