Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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