it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize