Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
