Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize