I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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