Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
