Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
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Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
FUCK WHALES
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