The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
