Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
