I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
