my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm sobbing to NWA
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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