all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
