I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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