Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I need to align my fucking chakras
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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