super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
