i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
