her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
