and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
