Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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