I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The adults are the big ones right?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
