Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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