We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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