I'm eating all of the evidence.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
