Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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