Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
