So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
