Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
youre lurking in front of me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
