I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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