just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I need to stop coming to work sober
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
