Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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