Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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