what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
OPIZZABONMYDICK
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
