i would punch a child for taco bell
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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