you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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