dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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