marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
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I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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